In my experience, the biggest issue with online dating is the lack of decent conversation. It seems that people want to get the full experience of dating without the effort of conversing. I get it, online dating websites and apps have taken a lot of work out of dating, but that doesn’t mean you are going to get anywhere if all you have is small talk.
‘What’s up,’ ‘what are you up to,’ ‘how was your day,’ and the like will only get you so far. While the examples I used are perfect for starting a conversation or showing you genuinely want to know about the person, they shouldn’t be all you bring to the table. Ask other questions, bring up topics that interest you. That way it is easy to get in contact with people using dating apps.
If you are having issues coming up with topics to discuss, try one of these suggestions:
- Hot button issues. By this I mean, politics, religion, abortion, and other things that are big debate topics. If I am going to bring up something in one of these topics, I make sure that the person is interested in discussing the topic, that the topic will stay civil, and that they actually care about the discussion. I wouldn’t bring up any of these things with someone I just started talking to or that I don’t know well enough to know they won’t get offended.
- Ask deeper questions. Like I said before, ‘how are you’ and the like are great for showing you are interested in their wellbeing and such, but don’t be afraid to ask deeper questions. What’s your biggest goal in life? Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert? What inspires you? Try some of these if you’re drawing a blank. This especially important with mature women.
- 20 Questions. If deep questions aren’t your thing, try playing 20 questions. I love this game because it’s a great opportunity to get to know someone better and has the potential to go however you want. You can ask silly, deep, personal, or even sexual questions. Just be sure to know the limits of the other person you are playing with!
Keeping a conversation going is most of the work when it comes to online dating. You have to know your conversation partners limits and respect those limits and you have to keep it interesting. But if the person you are talking to isn’t carrying their weight in the conversation, don’t be afraid to move along. You shouldn’t be responsible for the complete dialog.
Most online dating sites provide a free trial membership to those who would wish to register with them. The main purpose of this membership is to allow the members to use the sites for while so that they can determine if it suits their needs or not. For instance some sites do not help to find sex without paying. In some cases, the free trial membership expires after a month while in others it takes a little bit longer. However, premium membership is essential to both the host company and the members. The following are reasons supporting this claim.
Sites which allow free membership for more than a month are prone to having more fakes than those who advocate for a premium membership. Most of these people with fake profiles don’t pay for a premium membership as their aim is to get what they want real quickly and disappear. There are those who want to extract money from you and there are those who have a bigger agenda like arranging kidnaps and such. Having a premium membership and only flirting with people with similar membership will reduce the risks of you running into someone with a fake account. It is, therefore, important for an online dating site to more than often advocate for a premium membership so as to help curb and reduce the epidemic of fakes in online dating.
With a free membership, there are some features that are restricted to you. In most cases, with the free membership, you can only view the profiles of potential partners but so as to initiate a chat you are asked to upgrade to a premium account. So as to fully enjoy all the features in online dating, it is advisable you register as a premium member and there are always a wide variety of membership plans to choose from
It is the funds you pay as a premium user that helps keep the company going. This is what motivates them to find you a compatible partner and even arrange casual sex dates for you. Some of the companies charge a reasonable amount of money while in others you have to part with a few more dollars to enjoy their service.
Most online dating companies allow you to use their services before upgrading to premium membership. You should carefully choose the sites to register with.
Online dating (overview for UK) can be a bit of a minefield because once you engage yourself with it, you will be exposed to be contacted by anyone and you have to be ready to meet all kind of people. You should be cautious and be aware of the type of guys you will meet there especially if you are logging on with the hope of finding love.
This is a type of man who doesn’t like to involve himself in the real-time dating with those who he may connect with online. He only fantasizes about an awesome love life or sex life but he always let go any potential connection he got. There are several reasons behind this but at the core; he is not ready to settle for a serious relationship. The Internet helps him not to engage in a meaningful thing and therefore you will find him moving one online created connection to the next or back or forth between many just for fun. “Hey, I want to fuck in London!” For one or another reason, it is very difficult for him to make a room for something real.
He is typically 20 to mid 30’s and he wants to associate him with older women. He believes that older women “knows what they want”, that they are more experienced and has a lot to teach him sexually and this really motivates him. He believes that older women are not only more experienced but more available and easy to get. He is also aware that the easiest way to access them is online.
- Trying to get over the ex
This is a person who has experienced love before and he is so heartbroken and now he is looking to avoid loneliness after the breakup. Some will open up to the women they find online that they are using online dating as a diversion while others won’t. Sometimes there may develop a substantive relationship in the process. However, it is also possible that he does not want to commit himself to a relationship when he is still hung up on someone else. So be cautious.
This man is committed to a substantive relationship but he wants to know what else is out there. But he will not act on it or maybe he will. Either way, he loves his girlfriend and not planning to leave her. He feels like he is missing out on something or maybe something crucial is missing in his current relationship and he wants to prove that there is life beyond his current constraint. Despite everything, this type of man will never offer another woman a serious, consistent relationship.
It’s much easier to be flaky noncommittal for both you and your dates because it can be a frustrating, even painful process to encounter many of these types of online daters.