In my experience, the biggest issue with online dating is the lack of decent conversation. It seems that people want to get the full experience of dating without the effort of conversing. I get it, online dating websites and apps have taken a lot of work out of dating, but that doesn’t mean you are going to get anywhere if all you have is small talk.
‘What’s up,’ ‘what are you up to,’ ‘how was your day,’ and the like will only get you so far. While the examples I used are perfect for starting a conversation or showing you genuinely want to know about the person, they shouldn’t be all you bring to the table. Ask other questions, bring up topics that interest you. That way it is easy to get in contact with people using dating apps.
If you are having issues coming up with topics to discuss, try one of these suggestions:
- Hot button issues. By this I mean, politics, religion, abortion, and other things that are big debate topics. If I am going to bring up something in one of these topics, I make sure that the person is interested in discussing the topic, that the topic will stay civil, and that they actually care about the discussion. I wouldn’t bring up any of these things with someone I just started talking to or that I don’t know well enough to know they won’t get offended.
- Ask deeper questions. Like I said before, ‘how are you’ and the like are great for showing you are interested in their wellbeing and such, but don’t be afraid to ask deeper questions. What’s your biggest goal in life? Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert? What inspires you? Try some of these if you’re drawing a blank. This especially important with mature women.
- 20 Questions. If deep questions aren’t your thing, try playing 20 questions. I love this game because it’s a great opportunity to get to know someone better and has the potential to go however you want. You can ask silly, deep, personal, or even sexual questions. Just be sure to know the limits of the other person you are playing with!
Keeping a conversation going is most of the work when it comes to online dating. You have to know your conversation partners limits and respect those limits and you have to keep it interesting. But if the person you are talking to isn’t carrying their weight in the conversation, don’t be afraid to move along. You shouldn’t be responsible for the complete dialog.